A Great Rainy Day Activity

[Uncle Neil]

>Subject: Jewish millionaire game
> >
> >
> >You have been selected to play "So You Wouldn't Mind Being a Kosher
> >
> >Millionaire You Should Only Live So Long."
> >
> >
> >
> >You have three lifelines to help you, as follows:
> >
> >
> >1. You may call your Rabbi for his opinion.
> >
> >
> >2. You may ask the congregation for their opinion.
> >
> >
> >3. You may consider your spouse's opinion ... or not.
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> >
> >
> >Bonus lifeline! Whether you ask for it or not, your Mother will give
you
> >
> >her opinion.
> >
> >
> >Lets play
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> >
> >
> >For $100
> >
> >Q. What is the name of the Russian Space Station that crashed and
> burned on
> >
> >re-entry?
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> >A. Oy Veys Mir
> >
> >
> >For $200
> >
> >Q. How does a Jewish woman call her family to dinner?
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> >A. All right, everybody get in the car.
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> >
> >For $500
> >
> >Q. Who is Israel's favorite Internet provider?
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> >A. Netanyahoo.
> >
> >
> >For $1,000
> >
> >Q. What is the name of a facial lotion made for Jewish women?
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> >A. Oil of Oy Vey.
> >
> >
> >For $2,000
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> >Q. What is the title of the new horror film for Jewish women?
> >
> >A. Debbila Does Windows
> >
> >
> >For $4,000
> >
> >Q. What is the technical term for a Jewish woman who catches her
husband
> >
> >in the act with his secretary?
> >
> >A. "The Plaintiff."
> >
> >
> >For $8,000
> >
> >Q. How does a Jewish kid verbally abuse his playmates?
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> >A. "Nyah Nyah, Your Mother pays retail."
> >
> >
> >For $16,000
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> >Q. In the Jewish doctrine, when does the fetus become human?
> >
> >A. When it graduates from medical school.
> >
> >
> >For $32,000
> >
> >Q. What do Jewish women do to keep their hands soft and nails long
and
> >
> >beautiful?
> >
> >A. Nothing.
> >
> >
> >For $64,000
> >
> >Q. Define "Genius."
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> >A. A "C" student with a Jewish mother.
> >
> >
> >For $125,000
> >
> >Q. How do you know when a Jewish woman is about to have an orgasm?
> >
> >A. She puts down her nail file.
> >
> >
> >For $250,000
> >
> >Q. When should a Moyel retire?
> >
> >A. When he can't cut it anymore.
> >
> >
> >For $500,000
> >
> >Q. If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
> >
> >A. A fur coat.
> >
> >
> >For $1,000,000
> >
> >Q. What is the difference between a Jewish Grandmother and an
Italian
> >
> >Grandmother?
> >
> >A. The accent.



neilbrier@yahoo.com

[Adam Weisman]

I was with you until the $1million question. The true difference between a Jewish Grandmother and an Italian Grandmother is 100 pounds and a mustache!

Regards,
Adam Weisman


ajwcaw12@yahoo.com

[Miffed Musa]

Adam,

What makes you think somebody's [anybody's?] grandmother would have been anorexic?

Musa Pusa


mark@lgpltd.com