HOMELAND DEFENSE

[H. Peanuts]

<STRONG>Webnote: this is a submission I received via email and have reposted it here for all to read! (Gary) </STRONG>

I have been giving thought how Camp Alton Alumni might be able to contribute to President "Jr's" Homeland Defense strategy. After all, we were always very secure at camp especially from the "Kehonka" enemies led by the infidel Mrs. Ballentine and we were just as secure from other nefarious predators, too numerous to mention.

I think the Chief must have had a vision for security that took into account the very troubled times we are now in. In that vision, he employed Generalissimo Norton Levy and his cadre of riflemen. Can't we all recall how General Levy used to surreptitiously lead those young men off into his secret training ground in the woods at the extreme border of camp territory? There is nothing in Afghanistan to rival that training. Other high-ranking camp officials were not allowed into the training area, nor were they allowed to interfere with the training. It was all very hush hush.

And, what power Gen. Levy retained. I can still remember that fateful day when I was led off from the 12, or maybe it was the 15, year old baseball practice session in the morning to practice with the rifle team. Not only was Phin Tobe, who we baseball players all thought had the ultimate camp power, not able to over-ride Levy's interruption with baseball practice, but just imagine the confrontation later on, between Levy and Tobe, when I was ordered to participate in a rifle match (against a known enemy camp) instead of playing second base in that day's 12 or 15 year old baseball game against one of Phin's arch enemy camps. (probably Marist) As an aside, you can be sure that my place in the batting order was lowered for a while after that day. I was probably off the honor roll that week and undoubtedly ordered to go to swimming both in the morning and afternoon sessions for an entire week. Does anyone think that either of the Ulin brothers could have gotten away with using one of Phin's baseball players on the swim team? Now, that I think of it, I believe that some years later, Phin was still exacting his revenge on me for my transgression. At that time, I was pitching batting practice to the team while Phin was "allegedly" hitting fungoes to the outfield. He drove one smack into my jaw, putting out my lights for a bit. Then came the ultimate punishment, I had to ride in the old Chevy wagon with the Chief driving, to Wolfeboro General. And, to make matters worse, no ice cream cone at Bailey's.

Thank goodness, somehow I was able to convince Gen. Levy not to include me any more on the rifle team. I think Nort took out his displeasure with me on Circus day when he trounced me in the pie-eating contest, or maybe when I became his demonstration barbell. But, I digress.

Back to Homeland Defense!

I thought, in a patriotic spirit of course, that we could resurrect some of the old camp rifle teams to beef up the homeland defense. We could rummage around in our trunks of camp memorabilia for our NRA certificates, badges and bars, perhaps discover some old targets that had the bull?s eyes shot out. We could pin those badges onto our lapels so that the citizenry would know they were being protected by experts.

Maybe Nort still has a few of the old camp rifles and bullets under lock and key. He could arrange for some practice time, just in case any of us are not as proficient as we were back then. If anyone salvaged those old mattresses from the "range", they could be added to the new training ground. Then, Gen. Levy could re-instruct us in how to shoot at a non-moving target at a distance of 50 feet. I was thinking about the old shooting positions and I'm not sure which ones, if any, I can still manage. I don't know if my front end would allow me to be comfortable "prone". And, would my elbows still support a gun? There are similar problems with my back end for "sitting", not to mention legs and knees that would argue with getting into, and out of, that position. That brings us to "kneeling". I don't think there is any way I could A) get into that position for more than two seconds; B) stay steady enough to aim and shoot; and C) be able to get up. So, we are left with "standing". I couldn't hold the rifle steady in that position when I was at camp so what are my chances now? Maybe if we added a telescopic sight to a rifle, we could see the target, only 50 feet away.

I think we will have to contact a few of the very brightest and best shooters from the camp teams to be the core of the Camp Alton Homeland Defense team. I can think of (and I hope I get the names correct) Daniel Kline, Steve Weller, Mark Baer and Mike Kupersmith. I am sure there are thousands more names that can be added. It occurs to me, at this time, that one or both of the Wasby brothers were influential in the rifle program. So, we will need their leadership, as well.

Well, that's my idea for a better homeland defense.

What do you think?

H. Peanuts Kowal


h.kowal@verizon.net

[Mel Kohn]

The proposal for Homeland defense has merit (not MM) but I fear that the shooting practice necessary for success would be inhibited by the conflagration caused by the smoke coming from Ed Dolbare's(sp?) cigarettes. Who can forget the unique style that Ed showed us all as he inhaled a cigarette at the speed of light. Yet, there's always hope. Miracles do happen. I do remember Biff swimming in front of the dock at the beach.

mhk0711@aol.com