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Home Alton Classics Fun and Games An Alton Glossary

An Alton Glossary

An Alton Glossary

Alton Classics - Fun and Games

AN ALTON GLOSSARY
From the July 30, 1972 Alton Almanac

ZORCH n. A means of attack first invented by the VooDoo Man for Wrestling. It is executed by applying digital pressure to an opponents armpit, which can be quite painful for the zorchee and sometimes quite disgusting for the zorcher.

WEDGIE n. Another method of attack. By grabbing the victims underwear (from the rear) and yanking up, unbearable pain can be induced, not to mention possible sex changes. Variations are flagpole wedgies, over-the-head wedgies, weightlifter's press, broom wedgie and hang-him-on-the-rafter wedgie.

TITION n. A degree of measurement for judging the opponent in a contest. For instance, if Stu Simchowitz played a man with no arms in basketball, that would be no tition. However, if the man had one arm, THAT would be tition.

4:18 n. An off limits area in camp that is named for the price of a ticket on the bus to Boston, which one will be on if caught there. Several notables in the past have taken the bus.

THE CAFE n. Now extinct, it was the former hangout of Curly, Larry (of the CIA), Buddy, Lorraine, Kraft, Merritt and Rosen, Jack Webb, ...a symbol of the old days.....

SCHVITZ /schvitz 1. n. an immense amount of body perspiration. 2. v. to sweat like a pig 3. proper noun. Mark Brecker

UMID/oooomid adj. what the weather is like when Dr. Doom goes in the water.

LEVY TIME/ lehvee tyme n. The hour minus one or the time to take the clock out of the counselor's room. Subtract one hour at night to compensate for the extra hour the next morning.

KASHER'S COVE/ cashier's kov n. the area behind the third base bleachers named in honor of the former baseball coach (he could have signed with the Pirates) Commissioner and part-time deity.

GAGA LAND/ Klestadt land? n. the distant area of the outfield to which Jeffrey alone can hit and only wind up with a single 2. where Mike Fox once hit a baseball (that was also the only time he has hit a baseball)

THE SCHTICK / the big one n. 1. the 50 Flag 2. What Andy Cadiff didn't get 3. Only a standing ovation and an honorable mention are higher honors.

THE FAMILY n. They know who they are...

ROBERT ORBIT n. Interstellar wrestler who was the worst in Alton Wrestling history, next to Mark Brecker of course.

KID HOURS / kid hours n. 1. Time computed by dividing the hours in a daily schedule into where the camper spend them 2. The A-Crew's major responsibility.

CHAZZERAI n. The junk food that ever camper's parents brought up for the camper on visiting day. No doubt to help the parents deal with their concern we weren't getting fed enough. Junk food for non-campers. Comes from the Hebrew word Chazir which means pig.